My Career ~ Part 3

I’m reflecting on my career because I am considering leaving it. I’m hoping to process what I’ve learned and make sure I’m making the right decision for me. It’s been fun posting this info because of the feedback I’ve received. Thank you all for your replies–written and verbal. 

Onto the next part of my reflection . . .

At one time during my career, I really thought change to the college could happen. I thought teachers would be able to influence administration. When we wanted a change, we were asked to develop plans and we bring them to administration. We’d usually be told “no” or “maybe” and then the thing would never happen. That is another part of the disappointment of working at a college. I could envision things working better. I could envision positive changes for faculty and students and then it just wouldn’t happen. They couldn’t make changes because of the budget, or if as an English faculty, we got a certain change, other teachers would be upset—that’s at least what we were told. 

The whole college faculty had some great discussions through the union. The faculty proposed that we get back to what the college had before which was some semblance of a Faculty Senate. My college was started in 1990, and I had joined part-time in 2001, so when we’re talking about this stuff it’s likely around 2008.

I remember one meeting. We had recently hired a dean who some of my colleagues asked the president at the time to not hire. That president, by the way, has been the worst in our history and we got rid of him after 3 years. So we talked to this dean proposed a faculty senate. Though I heard he was drunk at the time, yes at a work meeting, he was able to reply saying something like, “You want me to share power?” “No, I am not going to share my power.” In short, the faculty senate idea was shot down. As much as I dislike this administrator and think he does not have faculty and students’ best interest at heart, at least he was honest about not wanting to share power.

Years later, we have some committees that administration calls “shared governance committees.” These are committees with a small scope and limited power that connects directly with teaching and not with influencing the direction of the overall college. Plus, we have always had these committees, so nothing has changed. The name just changed to appease those of us who wanted shared governance. Every time I hear it, it’s like another pin being poked into my heart. It’s a reminder that I am to stay in my little box and do what administration wants me to do—bring in money by teaching so that all college employees can continue to be paid. 

I think this is where I started to lose some hope in the possibility of change that I would like to see at the College.

Acknowledging the pain this causes and understanding the system does bring me some peace.

Peace Out (and In),

Julie