Getting Through My Last Year

It’s the week before I go back to work. I’ve been off since mid-May and it’s been a good summer. I’ve gotten a lot done—not as much as I’d like, but enough.

I took lots of walks, got to the pool a few times, and spent a lot of time outside mowing and weeding.

I did a lot of financial planning, some retirement planning, and got the ball rolling on our end-of-life planning (having wills and trusts made).

(The scarves and hats are in the wedding colors.)

My black and tan coonhound Scarlet also kept me busy. We went to some vet visits, got a mass she had removed, endured the cone, and went to the dog park after the stitches had healed.

I visited a former student’s new farm, and went to another former student’s thesis defense.

I celebrated my 50^th birthday, which was especially exciting because 50 is how old I will be when I retire.

I cleaned a bit and knit a lot. The pictures are of hats and scarves for my nephew and his fiancée, and a sweater for their dog.

(This pic is of the sweater folded.)

Part of the challenge of going back to work is going from having the freedom to choose what I do with my day to having to be certain places at certain times, and feeling overloaded with planning and grading. I like the work; it’s just overwhelming for me.

With how hard it is to get back going to school, that’s not the hardest part. I really love the beginning of the semester. It’s a new school year. I meet new students and have the energy to get us going on the course material.

The hardest parts are near the end of the semester. Students and I are all so tired. There’s still work to be done, but no energy with which to do it. I’m typically disappointed by some students’ lack of progress and absences. I focus on the students who are not doing well instead of focusing on the ones who are. Life just gets all out of balance.

My overall solution is to leave full-time work and see what I can do to create more balance in my life and more joy throughout the year. If I had to write a purpose statement for my retirement, this would be a good start.

I’ve been reminding myself, that I still have a school year to get through. My mind has gone to the adage that I can’t go around it, under it, or over it, so I’ve got to go through it. My question to myself has been what can I do to get through? What strategies can I use to enjoy the year as much as I can and get through the stress?

Counting Down: What has helped over the last few years has been the countdown on this website. When I am feeling crappy or frustrated about how the day is going, I can check out the countdown on the website and see that time has gone by. Sometimes I look at it and realize it hasn’t been long since I last checked it. At other times, I look and see more time has passed than I realized. I have somewhat mixed feelings about the countdown because I don’t want to be counting my life away. It can be encouraging though, and I am guessing it will be a valuable tool this year.

Acknowledging the Lasts: Last year I would remind myself that this was the second to last time I was doing something, whether that be attending the beginning-of-the-year kickoff meeting or doing my end-of-the-year evaluation. This year, everything will be my last instead of my second to last of doing things. I am hoping to think about this when things get hard or when I’m doing something I don’t want to do. I also am planning on actually doing the things though instead of skipping them. Since there’d be no consequence to missing meetings or slacking on those yearly online trainings everyone hates, I could skip them. I want to possibly work part time with my employer in the future, and I want to have a regular last year experience, so I plan on doing the things.

Taking More Time Off: I am also planning on taking off more time than I usually do. The largest time period without a school sanctioned break is from Labor Day to Thanksgiving. That 9+ week slog is hard for students and it’s hard for me. I can’t create this break for the college, but I am planning on taking a week of fall break where I am cancelling classes. I have 4 personal days per school year, so I’ll use those if nothing else comes up. I am not above calling in sick for that week either though. I have hundreds of sick days accumulated, so using a few to help me get through the year would be ok.

Planning Ahead: I love the planning stage of teaching, but I usually wait until we are in the semester to be able to plan certain projects. I always have paper 1 planned, but sometimes I like to feel out the semester is going before I plan project 2 and 3. I have a ton of ideas for short lessons, quizzes and videos, but I never get to making all of them. I still will not get everything done that I’d like, but I want to plan just as much as I can before school starts. It’d be great to simply be able to record and respond to student work once we get started as opposed to having lots to plan on top of that.

Recording Gratitude: Something I am planning to do that I have never done for a full year is write down something I am grateful for each day. It may be related to school, or it may not be. I have found gratitude to be quite uplifting, and I am hoping it functions for me this year. I’m recording one thing I am grateful each day in my bullet journal, and if I miss a day, I’m going to put in 2 things the next day instead of being upset that I missed it.

Cleaning the Office: My office at work has been such a mess these last few years since I have moved from another building. I didn’t want to put everything away because I wanted to go through things. Well, other priorities come up and I get very little done. I plan on bringing boxes home to go through next year when I am retired. It’d be great to be able to go through them during this school year; if I know myself, though, I will focus on my current students and self-care, so the boxes of papers, articles and books will have to wait.

Keeping a List: Finally, I am going to keep a list of what I want to do when retired. I think it’ll feel hopeful to write down opportunities I see for when retired. Plus, it may serve as something to look to if I feel out-of-sorts without having full time work. I have plenty of practice being off work—since I have taken every summer off since my first full-time summer—but I have always had a full-time job to go back to; not having that, and potentially not having an identity as a teacher, may be a challenge.